Wednesday, February 11, 2009

The Forty Million Pounds of Gorilla in the Room

Dear Science,

I have tried, believe me I have tried, to love you and trust you. But things just aren't working out.

Every time you convince me that you have a handle on things you eventually pull the rug out from under me. This latest news is the last straw. How am I ever supposed to defend you to the Sasquatch believers when I find out that somehow you missed 100,000 goddam gorillas for... like... ever.

I mean, I guess I can argue that, even though we missed 100,000 goddam Gorillas living in the small country of Congo, when the discovery was made they were actually GORILLAS and not Sasquatches. But seriously, I'm arguing with some pretty unhinged people... I would rather not almost agree with their defense by using it myself.

Seriously... 100,000 gorillas.

I know I have held my tongue for a while. I tried to rationalize the discovery in my head for months... but I just can't do it anymore. ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND GODDAM GORILLAS!

At this point I have to just toss up my hands when the Loch Ness Monster, Sasquatch and Chupacabra believers tell me their theories and say "Why the hell not?"



That is all...


  1. 125,000, actually. That's just nuts. I hadn't heard of this until I read your post (I learned something!) and I have to wonder: what in the hell were they basing their previous estimates on??

  2. By the way, go to the "forum" (you know the one I mean) and check out the trailer I just posted in "Movies".

  3. Yeah, when last I read they were assuming between 90 and 130k gorillas that we apparently missed.


    "Gorillas in the Mist"? More like "The Gorillas that we Missed"! Am I right folks?! *rim shot*